Time 12.35pm. Date: Monday 13th June. I’m seated at the office bored as usual and yearning for the clock to trend faster and for me to receive the tunes of one zilizopendwa tune….. (D.O Misianis’ old time hit, “LUNCH TIME!” Sasa ni lunchi time tufunge makazi, twende kwa chakula, tuje tena saa …)
hehe I just like the way that guy in the next office (anonymous during peak hours) is very quick to launch this golden track at exactly 1.00pm relieving the tension in fellow workers’ heads and making our stomach’s growl more looking forward to lunch….anyway not the point!!!!>> So with Saturday night’s beers still haunting my brain cells, it was quite interesting to remember how I reveled myself in one of Nairobi’s “Wastelands” Clubs that night. Hmmm,
now is a nice time to reminisce to myself the way the dance scene in clubs has changed.
I can remember the way in the past days for us guys, ‘kuteka’ (hooking up with) a girl was pretty easy on the dance-floor. Nowadays I wonder why it has become quite the challenge where I have deduced that it requires special consideration and thought.
Of-course one of the contributors being the common term chips funga.To my surprise this has turned out to be a vice in our society but I won’t touch on that! Girls, you have become excessively prudent when it comes to this issue
but would it hurt to know a guy first??
I have watched carefully and to counter some of these wrong thoughts involve certain steps:
You have to first of all examine your ‘prey’ extensively before pouncing on it like a wild cougar (the animal).This ensures that you don’t pull a very stupid ‘chips funga’ initiative
Then kama unajiamini, that’s usually a good pointer since apart from believing in yourself, you also have to expect the worst out of a challenge. So jiamini since some chics sijui they came to do what in clubs coz damn!
Don’t jump on your prey like a piece of mutura that had been cut for you by your local butcher. The worst thing that girls hate nowadays is a ‘hungree’ who ogles at girls like pieces of meat!

Your approach has to be smart. Some guys think that this is a move from a wuss where you first have to converse with the lady before any further actions are carried out. Even if it’s just for a minute, it gives assurance that you are not there to devour the prey and therefore highly recommended. Then from there, be very quick to finish the task but cautious not to insult the latter and it is during this phase that you use individual techniques to finalize the process. You can engross some techniques e.g. copying the chic’s dancing moves and trying to do it like a routine, complementing the chic on her nice dance moves(even if they are pathetic) etcetera…

It might seem funny but believe it or not this is what ‘hunting’ (lol) nowadays in Kenyan clubs has been reduced to. But all the same you can always check on the other alternative of the classic “chain” where you tell a friend to bring another friend where you can be friends and you can do this every other weekend! Lol heh…sasa ni lunch time>> *bounces off*

#NB: the contents of this page should not be misapprehended for techniques to get a one night stand and the author has no designations of doing so!


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